Ms Fitz on JJJ "Inside the mind of a Door Bitch" and The Things People Say to Get into Exclusive Parties.

Photo: Jeff Yiu - Me workin the door at the most recent No Answer Party.

So- I take my doorbitchin job pretty seriously. I think of a Door Bitch in the European sense, she must look SPECTACULAR, totally dressed up to the nines with a no nonsense attitude to match :) Last night I was dressed as Rhianna (including black eyes and SnM gear) and my super sexy boyf came dressed as Chris Brown HHAAA! Totally un-PC and hilarious!

After Door Bitchin last night at the GAY BASH MARDI GRAS PARTY- (holy shit it was hectic and fun), I think I need a de brief!! We had 600 pre-bought tickets and a VIP list that was 400 people long, so I had to be on top of my game; co-ordinating a team of 3 other door staff (who were the best, thanks Jesse, Emma and Max) to make sure everyone got inside with as little drama as possible to the four level MEGA GAY BASH MARDI GRAS PARTY we were throwing.

It was an AMMAAZIINGG night! Everyone had a ball and there were some epic costumes! I think I probably made about a mmmiiillion enemies and there were some serious dickheads trying to get in without paying (read: MTV dude and Ksubi hangers on) but I was solid as a rock!! The night was a huge success!

So it was the hottest ticket in town, and I was the gatekeeper. And at $60 a pop, there were alot of people who reaaallly wanted to skeeze in without being on the list. Ha! Not on my watch!!

Here are some gems I got last night, along with my responses..
1. "I know Mickey Nolan"
Me: HHAAA! I know babe, we're ALL friends of Mikey Nolan. Its really coooooll to know the Ksubi kids, but if you're that good a friend, I would have your name down here already.

2. "I work for (insert Obnoxious Media Entity / Record Label here)."
Me: "Thats great and I'm really proud of you for having such an IMPRESSIVE JOB sweetie, but unless your obnoxious media outlet is Sponsoring or Covering the party, then you gotta pay like everybody else."

3. (dude says after grilling me for ten minutes and seeing that he's not getting anywhere and deciding to change tact)
"I'm sorry for being difficult."
Me:" Oh, thats okay babe! I've been dealing with a lot of egomanicial jerks throwing their weight around tonight. " (I really said that. YES! TAKE THAT MTV DUDE!)

4. "But you let my friend in."
Me: Yeah, I probably did.

5. "I'm on the list, my name is Such and Such"
Me: "You're not Such and Such. I know Such and Such."
LIARRRR!!! Nothing gets past me!!

6. "Blah Blah said I could have their doorspot"- Alright people, here's the thing- Doorspots are for the people WHOSE NAME IS ON THE LIST, that the whole POINT of a doorlist. They're not just free tickets to pass to your flatmate/girlfriend's best mate/next door neighbour. Rah.

7. Here's one I got working a different party but I had to put it in here;
"You just let my friend in, and he has cancer."

Okay, just take a second to think about that.

This chick used her FRIEND'S TERMINAL ILLNESS as blackmail to try and get into A NIGHTCLUB.
How fucked up is that??!! What kind of person DOES THAT???!!! Maaaann. I was so disgusted with this woman's form I told her to piss off.

I'll tell you what guys, if you reaaallly wanna get in and youre not on the list, heres the gem:
Be Polite, and be Patient.
Thats all, its not hugely complicated. But I've been dealing with rude, self important assholes all night and there's 500 more coming so if you take the time to be nice to me, I will do the same. I just want everyone to party :)

I did an interview recently with current affairs program Hack on Australia's Triple J.
Listen here to get my inside scoop about what its like being a doorwhore.


Oh and my fellow Doorbitches- feel free to add what you've heard in the comments!!