Fashion Tips To Get You Laid #5 - Ms. Fitz Exclusive from Obnoxious Owl

Tammy Croucher writes a sexxy, smutty and hi-larious blog, where she dishes advice for ladies and gentlemen to keep in mind when getting laid, trying to get laid, or thinking about getting laid. I asked her put together some fashion related tips especially for you, my lovely readers, to help us out when knockin' boots.
Enjoy!



LET HIM SMEAR YOUR MAKE UP
Dude. You look hot when you look a like a whore. A bit of streaked mascara and smeared red lips, teamed with messy hair in bed will make him proper er...stand to attention. Let him think that he ravaged you, it'll make him feel special.

LEAVE A SCENT
A whiff of your perfume sprayed lightly on his pillow will refresh his memory of the night before. Please, no Britney Spears scents, and key word here is LIGHTLY. Don't douse the poor fuckers pillow in your $19.95 Coty fragrance you copped on the cheap 'cause it was an 'ex tester'. Remember, guns blazing in bed but subtlety everywhere else. (I know, fresh coming from me)

KNOW WHAT SUITS YOU
And then find a fool-proof-pulling-dress. Every woman needs that one 'sure thing' in her wardrobe. You can go to town with shoes, hair and jewelry but fuck, make sure it hugs you in all the right places and makes you feel happy that you're a woman. That sexuality is ma fucking power yo!

LITERALLY DRESS UP
School uniform, nurse uniform, sexy secretary, French maid...you name it! Do not underestimate how visual the opposite sex are. Don't talk about it either, just do it and surprise him.  Sure it's tacky, and guys LOVE tacky! It's fun and indulgent and naughty and quite ridiculous.  Have fun with it and lose yourself in what is fundamentally pretty playful.  Put on a show my darling, and may the bed be your stage.

SHOW LEGS OR CLEAVAGE
Sure, Julia Roberts had the girls out and thigh high boots on in Pretty Women and looked banging....but she was also a prostitute. If you have big tits, you don't need to get them out just for people to know they're big. If you want to get the legs out, put the kittens away. If you want to wear jeans, then there is no reason why you can't bring Right Said Fred to the party...if you know what I mean. More is more, except for skin.  Keep them guessing a little, ya know? (Fitzy note: I obviously do not adhere to this one, ha!)

Love, Owl
xxx